The Red Baron: America's favorite pizza!

There is nothing like the taste of Red Baron pizza! Millions of Americans across the Untied States dig their teeth into this exquisite classic every day! RED BARON RED BARON RED BARON! YES!

EVEN VETERANS AND THOSE WITH LOVED ONES SERVING OVERSEAS ABSOLUTELY LOVE RED BARON! It HAS to be America's #1 Pizza! I LOVE EATING RED BARON PIZZA WHILE STARING INTO THE EYES OF THE VICIOUS NAZI PILOT THAT WAS HONORED BY THE THIRD REICH FOR SHOOTING DOWN OVER 80 AMERICAN AIRCRAFT! It's really a pleasure to couress the pepperoni against my taste buds while this man--Manfred von Richthofen--gazes into the horizon of my dining room! The Red Baron official website even supports our troops! http://www.redbaron.com/wounded-warrior.aspx

I can't wait to eat my next Red Baron pizza!  

How not to celebrate Osama's death.

Click n look

WAIT! NO! OBAMA CAN'T DO THIS! THIS IS NOT ORTHODOX!

Oh no...what is my dermatologist going to think of me now?

Obama REVEALED!

Obama, the president of the United States Of America, ever since his nomination for office, has been called a Muslim. Hey, look at that Muslim! Hey, look at that 7th Day Adventist! Some politicians have found the perfect rat-trap for this pest of a president. They have revealed the unquestionable truth. Obama, the president of the United States Of America, was not born in this country! Finally, they have caught this Muslim! Now all they need is a trustworthy leader who can yank this terrorist out of office. YES! DONALD TRUMP! PERFECT! Now we can rejoice over Obama's downfall and play golf at the same time!

How fat to you have to be to be bulletproof?

Dangerously Obese.

Unusual Important Things

Contradictions: everyone experiences these. There are many which we stumble upon and lose ourselves, there are many which me bypass, there are many which we stare at and chuckle. Would you steal? Do you defend your God? Do you believe to live a balanced life? People download thousands of dollars worth of pirated software and media over the Internet, but they would never steal from a brick and mortar shopping mall. People candidly deny the possibility of gods outside of their own belief system, yet become very defensive when someone reciprocates that point of view.Most people say they appreciate the importance of a balanced life, but dedicate 75% of their life to work and an additional 10% to watching T.V.

Yes my friends, it is hard to digest. You and I both know very well our true label: Hypocrits. That word reminds of hippopotamus. Makes me wonder...is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or a really cool opotamus? Yet another mystery. 

Greek Wood

Supermarkets

Recently, I've been very upset with supermarkets. 
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut... end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I got the doc-u-men-tation right here... oh, wait it's at home... in the file... under 'D'... for doughnut." 

I wonder what would happen if we gave a pony a ponytail. I also wonder why humanity insists that Jesus Christ trims his beard. I mean, look at him. Every single one of his pictures depicts a 30 year-old handsome man, with a somewhat trimmed beard, lucious hair, and singular clothing. Now, if Jesus always wore rags and robes and informal attire, why do religious parents force their children to wear formal clothing to church?  Catholic schools force their students to be well groomed and in uniform. However, Jesus had notable facial hair and never dressed to impress. Now imagine a pony with a ponytail.

I wonder if there are any birds who are scared of heights.

There isn't a 6th video. My life is never going to be the same.

By the way...these stairs are awkward.

Hello...I'm a person.

I can just tell you what's going on in my head.

Life...It gets complicated.

Miles Davis

Throughout a professional career lasting 50 years, Miles Davis played the trumpet in a lyrical, introspective, and melodic style, often employing a stemless harmon mute to make his sound more personal and intimate. But if his approach to his instrument was constant, his approach to jazz was dazzlingly protean. To examine his career is to examine the history of jazz from the mid-'40s to the early '90s, since he was in the thick of almost every important innovation and stylistic development in the music during that period, and he often led the way in those changes, both with his own performances and recordings and by choosing sidemen and collaborators who forged the new directions. It can even be argued that jazz stopped evolving when Davis wasn't there to push it forward. 


What strikes me the most, is that Miles had to learn classical before learning jazz. In order to do things your way, you must first master all that which is orthodox. 

Who was the first to lie?

Lying must have been invented at some time and place. Someone must have been enlightened  one day. Honey does this dress look good on me? (Jesus, my girlfriend is really fat. It seems as if her tummy is about to sharpshoot those six buttons into the living room window. She needs to start working out, but the gym costs too much money. What do I say?) Baby, that dress looks wonderful! Listen, I've been wanting to become a member of LA fitness. Do you want to join me? Lying is inevitable. Many times I've lied and many times I've listened. Many times I wondered how much there is to know. Many is the word, that only keeps you guessing....

Meerkat Dilemma

Meerkat Dilemma

Dependency; selflessness; fear: three general characteristics of meerkats. Meerkats—much like humans themselves—are born with hair but not full coats, and with their eyes closed. They will live in the wild up to 10 years. However, in captivity they can live up 15 years. Meerkats dig their own holes and live inside of them. Some remain hidden more than others; it’s all up to choice and their resistance towards fear. Most meerkats live in the Kalahari Desert, which consists of both soft and compacted sands; ranging in color from bright orange to white. Meerkats prefer soft sand when digging for food; however, they prefer compact sand to build their burrows which would collapse in softer sands. Although they are relatively healthy animals, they are unfortunately prone to bovine tuberculosis and have been known to get rabies. When a meerkat peeks out of its hole, it becomes attentive to the sky and horizon. Eagles, hawks, vultures, and even owls linger around the skies; waiting. Considering such hazards and danger: Why would a meerkat even bother crawling outside of its hole? Inside, it is warm and comfortable. It is its own company; one meerkat per hole. Inside there aren’t any vicious predators, or any treacherous illnesses. Why explore? Why taste the flesh of undiscovered territory? Why learn? Why live?

It’s all up to choice. There was one meerkat that has been tracked by wilderness patrols over the years. This one is not like the others. She left her burrow at 6 years of age and strolled across the desert, swayed across the sea of sand, dashed across the ocean of predators, and climbed the highest mountain; where she stayed and lived amongst all the other species. There she met scorpions, and lizards, and small birds of all types. She observed and learned their way of life, and gained knowledge through curiosity. She became known as the only meerkat to have ever Lived. In the mean time, 200 miles south in the heart of the Kalahari Desert, dwelled a pack of 29 meerkats; breathing on dependency, selflessness, and fear.